Linh Dinh
The Only Authentic Game
Convinced that war is the only authentic game, the only game worth playing, he dedicated himself to being a mercenary, and proceeded to participate in the Pakistani-Indian War of 1971 (where he lost a finger), the Yom Kippur War (where he lost his right foot), the Falklands War (where he lost the right side of his face), the Gulf War (where he lost the left side of his face), and the 1995 civil war in Sierra Leone (where he lost another finger).
A Moral Decision
A man found himself in the familiar position of being in love with two women at the same time. He was married to only one of them and made the moral decision to remain faithful to his wife. He also trained himself to never think about the second woman, in an erotic way or otherwise. Occasionally, however, when he was slightly drunk or overly tired, he would think that the ideal solution would be for his wife to die a quick, violent death, so that he could consummate his love for the second woman within the context of matrimony, without being immoral in any way.
Key Words
It is often said that grammar provides a sure index to human behavior. Who hasn’t noticed that people who write in run-on sentences are also prone to lying, to getting up late, and to alcohol? And those who do not punctuate at all tend to wear oversized clothes?
In an effort to inject more pep and resolve into its lethargic citizens, the government is mandating the use of an exclamation mark at the end of each sentence, spoken or written. “It looks like rain!” for example, or “I must sleep!”
It is now also unlawful to omit an exclamation mark from the end of key words. Key words are so numerous, however, that many citizens have found it safest to exclamate each sylable. “I! Am! A! Day! La! Bor! Er!” for example, or “Is! This! The! Ex! It?!”
Yesterday, an elderly gentleman who forgot to exclamate “frontal” in a private conversation with his wife (overheard by a vigilant neighbor) was sentenced to thirty five years of hard labor to set an edifying example for the next generation.
Vietnam-born Linh Dinh is an American citizen who lives in Italy. Writing in English, he is the author of a collection of stories, “Fake House” (Seven Stories Press 2000) and several collections of poems, including “All Around What Empties Out” (Tinfish 2003). His work is included in several anthologies, including “Best American Poetry 2000.”
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